The Six Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make:

1. They go on too many unproductive dates.
"It's better not to date unless you're out of practice. If you know how to date, and you're meeting losers, get off the market, and go into dating detox. Clean your energy up so those people don't ask you out any more. The problem is we women are very impatient. We want it now. Instant gratification! Sometimes the best guys are worth waiting for. You might get one good date a year, versus 100 bad ones, but he's worth it."

2. They go out with their girlfriends in the hopes of meeting guys.
"When you're with your girlfriends, you're not approachable. They're scared. Men are very timid. I have this theory: Women who travel in packs do not attract. Men who are quality aren't going to go in there and ask you out while your girlfriends are standing right there — he could get shot down. So it's a really good idea, at about 4 or 4:30 P.M., to go to the bar: Sit at the bar, have a cocktail, get an hors d'oeuvre, read a mutual-gender book like The Da Vinci Code, know the score on TV, and pretend you're busy. You're reading a book, you're eating an hors d'oeuvre, you're meeting a friend — and then you're more approachable because you're by yourself."


3. They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them.
"A guy knows right away if he's attracted to you or not. There's no warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it onto their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no."

4. They overshare on the date.
"Women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump — they baggage dump! They say, 'Oh, I had two cocktails, I'm all relaxed, now he's my best friend and I can tell him whatever I want.' They're nervous, they drink too much, and they tell their life story — and sometimes their life story is not a good story to tell."

5. They don't let the guy talk enough.
"The way you talk on a date should be like a tennis match, but the guy should talk three times as often. It should be 3:1. He volleys, volleys, volleys, now you talk. You can answer the question every time he volleys, but then you lead him with your question, and it should be topical to the conversation he's having. You don't say, 'Hey, do you want to get married? Hey, what's your ex-girlfriend like? Hey, are you a drinker?' You don't do that. You lead with what he's talking about."

6. They forget their manners.
"The key to a good date is to smile. Engage with eye contact. Let him lead and then you compliment little things along the way. If he orders the dessert and you guys share it, say, 'Oh, this is the best chocolate mousse, I'm so glad you picked this.' Manners are key. Most people do not have manners."

Cant wait to get out in the dating world again, thank you patti!

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

This by far has been the hardest breakup ive ever gone through. I think what makes it harder is the fact i HAVE to see you and talk to you for the sake of our child. usually when people breakup, its a never talk never see eachother kinda thing, and thats what makes getting over them so easy. I know ive brought it upon myself because ive asked you to come over, ive asked you to spend time with me, but its almost getting to the point where i just cant take it anymore. I want to be with you more than ive ever wanted anything in my whole life but i cannot sit here and force someone who doesnt want me to well want me. And then i sit here and think to myself, i do all these things to make you happy, i cater to youre every need. But the second i ask you for something its always "youre too busy". Well i guess from now on i need to become "too busy"....




"I’ve had heartaches, headaches, toothaches, earaches, and I’ve had a few pains in the ass; but I’ve survived to tell about it. "

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

"If he’s really missing you, he could also think of a million excuses to contact you. You just look like a stalker, a desperate woman and that’s not attractive"

Conor Garrett Ojala

This here is the little man who keeps me going when i just wana give up. Conor, mommmy loves you more than anything in this whole wide world and i hope you never forget that. I will do anything to make sure you are safe and have everything you want. I never understood what it meant to love someone more than you love yourself, but now i know that feeling. Even tho daddy and i have our problems we are trying to do whats best for you, no matter what happens with him and i just know we love you more than anything.

I have found my backbone, in this little baby boy. He pushes me to be a better me, to strive to be my very best. 3 more weeks and we get to meet your handsome face. This has been the easiest pregnancy ever, no sickness or anything. Thank you son! A little swelling, but thats about it. Not being able to wear shoes is all worth it.


Oct 19,2011 hurry the heck up!

Its been a long time...

It has been awhile since ive blogged, but i i need to get back into it. So guess what? well its not really a guess everyone knows now but im pregnant! I found out feb 11 and man was it scary. I remember it like it was yesterday, feb 10 i was sitting at school eating wendys (which is now my favvv thing to have) and i just had this feeling i cant really explain, but i just knew. So i went to my car and got a pregnancy test that i had because i had gotten it for a friend, i then went to the bathroom, pee'd and it came positive. I sat there for a few minutes thinking this cant be right, Garrett wanted nothing to do with me and now im having his baby? what the hell was i gonna do? So i ran out crying, left school and on the way home stopped and bought about 3 more packages and took them all. Each one came out positive, every piece of me just didnt want to believe it. How could i, out of all people be having a baby? i was being so safe, at least i thought. Goes to show that just not having sex is the only way to not get pregnant. Anyways, i started texting Garrett, he wouldnt answer, i called and called and called, still nothing. Finally after hours of freaking out he texted me back, i told him the news, at first he didnt believe me, he thought i was lying to just get his attention so i decided to go to Planned Parenthood to prove it was true. The next day i went in, pee'd in a cup and they told me i was positive but it was a light showing so i was very early i just started balling my eyes out i had no clue what was gonna happen. Was Garrett gonna be there for me? What would my family say? How would i finish school? Can i afford this? After all that i called him and let him know the news, he first said some very mean things that i will never repeat, but after awhile it grew on him and he started to accept the fact he was gonna be a father. So now i sit here three weeks from my due date waiting to meet my bundle of joy little baby Conor Garrett Ojala... <3

My girl..

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babve, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

Act like a lady; think like a man.

"Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.

Well, I’m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love— that perfection—from a man is unrealistic. That’s right, I said it—it’s not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man’s
love isn’t like a woman’s love."

"If he hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and the how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be. "

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

Its been awhile but...

My life has been so up and down. I went on a date with some random guy i met online..we will see where that goes...



but as always Garrett continues to break my heart and drag me along. Some days im stronger than others, im just going through the motions. If its really meant to be it will happen...with the right person at the right time..right?

He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstarted to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and into me.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Don't underestimate the power of sex, even with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Especially with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Breaking up means not seeing them again, which also implies not seeing them naked again. It might be tempting to forget this pearl of wisdom, but just remember, it's still called breakup sex. No one has yet to rename it oh-my-god-the-sex-was-so-good-we-got-back-together-again-and-lived-happily-ever-after sex.

face it, he's just not that into you..

a man who wants to make a relationship work, will move moutains to keep the women he loves. if he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he is showing up at your doorstep in person..if he's not doing any of that he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what its like to live without you.

He's sniffing for something better and when he doesnt find it he gets lonely and comes back "home". its not that he's so into you. its that he's so not into being alone. dont give him the chance to breakup with you for the fourth time. reset your breakup maximum to one, and move on.

you deserve someone who will be nice to you all the time.

deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who not long ago looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

cut him off. let him miss you.

THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE WHO'S GOING TO BE REALLY HAPPY THAT YOU DIDNT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH YOUR CRAPPY EX-BOYFRIEND.

once again...twsift took the words out of my mouth

Tswift always knows how to say what im feeling.

This is my song right now.

gco.

So the past few days have been HELL. I have good moments and bad moments, somethings make me think of you and i just cry and other times i hate you and im so angry at what you have done to me, and that you can act like nothing has changed for you. It hurts me inside a lot the idea of you just moving on so easy like i never effected you or anything. While im sitting here crying every two seconds missing the fuck out of you, youre able to go on with your day normally. Its just not fair at all. It sucks when you think you found the one, but then they just change up and decide they dont wana care for you anymore. i cant even picture in my head another man holding me or kissing me or taking me out. All i can see is you and me together, thats how its suppose to be. thats whats right.

Im sure all my friends find it so annoying that all i can do is sit and cry about you. But i honsetly cant help it. Im trying to move on, but moving on just doesnt feel right i want to hold on to us still. Something is telling me that its just not right to move on.



I hope one day when you get off of work and you go lay down in bed you think of me and miss me. I hope that one day you wish i was laying next to you comforting you. I hope when you have struggles in life that you think back and wish i was there to motovate you and believe in you. I hope when youre lonely you regret everything youve done to me.



You have dragged my heart through the mudd and back out again. Its just a circle, but its ok because i love you, i love us, and that wont ever change.

Some quotes that are helping me get through this..

"some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If youre wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesnt love you anymore"
-lady gaga

"as you become more clear about who you really are, youll be better able to decide what is best for you-the first time around."

" if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesnt nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save from heartache. stop trying to change yourself for a relationship thats not ment to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.if a relationship ends because the man wasnt treating you as you deserve, then heck no you cant "be friends"a friend wouldnt mistreat a friend. dont settle.if you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Dont stay because you think it will get better.Youll be mad at yourself a year later when things are not better.the only person you can control in a relationship is you.aviod men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of women. He didnt marry them when they got pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?always have your own set of friends from his.If something bothers you speak up.never let a man know everything. he will use it against you later. You cannot change a mans behavior. change comes from within.Dont ever make him feel he is more important than you are.. even if he has more education or in a better job. do not make him a quasi-god. he is a man nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are not dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships..there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you...a relationship consists of two whole individuals..look for someone complimentary..not supplementarry. Dating is fun..even if he doesnt turn out to be Mr. right. Make him miss you sometimes..when a man always knows where you are and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Never move into his mithers house. Never co-sign for a man. Dont fully commit to a man who doesnt give you everything you need.Keep him in your radar but get to know others"

broken hearted girl.

So this here is Garrett. Now i know i shouldnt be posting this but i need to let it all out..maybe someone who cares will read it..maybe no one will read it. but as long as i get it out i will be ok.

He broke my heart. i did everything i possibly could for him to prove that we were in love, that we were perfect for eachother, that we were gonna last forever. but see thats just the problem it was I who did it all, his efforts were few if any. It was like he was a puppet master and i was his puppet. i did everything he wanted at his every beck and call. but for some reason i thought that was love..? its hard letting go of him..but sometimes you have to do whats right. i cant say that i will never take him back.. i cant say that im ever gonna move on..because at this moment i dont feel like i will. Some days are easier than others, sometimes i think to myself why am i sad over someone who doesnt even care that im hurting? why should i be crying over someone who has done this many times to me and doesnt seem to care? why am i put in this position of saddness because he needs to "focus on him"? i guess im just stuck in a rough spot because i want him to be with me so bad and there isnt a damn thing i can do about it. You know one side of me is like fuck him he did me dirty...and the other side of me wants to say i love him he was so good to me. I dont know..this is possible one of the hardest things i have ever had to go thru..and it sucks that its HIM i usually go to when things get rough in my life..and now HE cant even be there...




xoxo even though you no longer want my love garr i will always be there for you if and when you ever need it..

Exposed.

So, this is me...everything i feel and say im gonna write on here everyday for all of you to read. Why? well people are always gonna talk, i mind as well give them something to talk about right?

here is a little sumin sumin about me..how i would describe myself..

Im Nicolle, and im never satisfied.I've always been the nice girl, but this year, I learned you have to go after what you want.Once i open my mouth all bullets come out.I have a lot more patience for others than I have for myself, and I'm much better at bringing out the best in others than in myself. That's just the kind of person I am. I'm the scratchy stuff on the side of the matchbox. But that's fine with me. I don't mind at all. Better to be a first-class matchbox than a second-class match.I don't believe in guilt. I believe in living on impulse. As long as you never intentionally hurt another person and don't judge people in your life,I think you should live completely free.I've come to the understanding, that everyone leaves you at some point, we all use eachother, the whole world is fake, and im okay with that. Sit down and have a conversation with me, let me blow your fucking mind.

I've come to believe people never mean half of what they say and it's best to disregard their words and judge them solely on their actions.