The Six Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make:

1. They go on too many unproductive dates.
"It's better not to date unless you're out of practice. If you know how to date, and you're meeting losers, get off the market, and go into dating detox. Clean your energy up so those people don't ask you out any more. The problem is we women are very impatient. We want it now. Instant gratification! Sometimes the best guys are worth waiting for. You might get one good date a year, versus 100 bad ones, but he's worth it."

2. They go out with their girlfriends in the hopes of meeting guys.
"When you're with your girlfriends, you're not approachable. They're scared. Men are very timid. I have this theory: Women who travel in packs do not attract. Men who are quality aren't going to go in there and ask you out while your girlfriends are standing right there — he could get shot down. So it's a really good idea, at about 4 or 4:30 P.M., to go to the bar: Sit at the bar, have a cocktail, get an hors d'oeuvre, read a mutual-gender book like The Da Vinci Code, know the score on TV, and pretend you're busy. You're reading a book, you're eating an hors d'oeuvre, you're meeting a friend — and then you're more approachable because you're by yourself."


3. They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them.
"A guy knows right away if he's attracted to you or not. There's no warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it onto their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no."

4. They overshare on the date.
"Women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump — they baggage dump! They say, 'Oh, I had two cocktails, I'm all relaxed, now he's my best friend and I can tell him whatever I want.' They're nervous, they drink too much, and they tell their life story — and sometimes their life story is not a good story to tell."

5. They don't let the guy talk enough.
"The way you talk on a date should be like a tennis match, but the guy should talk three times as often. It should be 3:1. He volleys, volleys, volleys, now you talk. You can answer the question every time he volleys, but then you lead him with your question, and it should be topical to the conversation he's having. You don't say, 'Hey, do you want to get married? Hey, what's your ex-girlfriend like? Hey, are you a drinker?' You don't do that. You lead with what he's talking about."

6. They forget their manners.
"The key to a good date is to smile. Engage with eye contact. Let him lead and then you compliment little things along the way. If he orders the dessert and you guys share it, say, 'Oh, this is the best chocolate mousse, I'm so glad you picked this.' Manners are key. Most people do not have manners."

Cant wait to get out in the dating world again, thank you patti!

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

This by far has been the hardest breakup ive ever gone through. I think what makes it harder is the fact i HAVE to see you and talk to you for the sake of our child. usually when people breakup, its a never talk never see eachother kinda thing, and thats what makes getting over them so easy. I know ive brought it upon myself because ive asked you to come over, ive asked you to spend time with me, but its almost getting to the point where i just cant take it anymore. I want to be with you more than ive ever wanted anything in my whole life but i cannot sit here and force someone who doesnt want me to well want me. And then i sit here and think to myself, i do all these things to make you happy, i cater to youre every need. But the second i ask you for something its always "youre too busy". Well i guess from now on i need to become "too busy"....




"I’ve had heartaches, headaches, toothaches, earaches, and I’ve had a few pains in the ass; but I’ve survived to tell about it. "

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

"If he’s really missing you, he could also think of a million excuses to contact you. You just look like a stalker, a desperate woman and that’s not attractive"

Conor Garrett Ojala

This here is the little man who keeps me going when i just wana give up. Conor, mommmy loves you more than anything in this whole wide world and i hope you never forget that. I will do anything to make sure you are safe and have everything you want. I never understood what it meant to love someone more than you love yourself, but now i know that feeling. Even tho daddy and i have our problems we are trying to do whats best for you, no matter what happens with him and i just know we love you more than anything.

I have found my backbone, in this little baby boy. He pushes me to be a better me, to strive to be my very best. 3 more weeks and we get to meet your handsome face. This has been the easiest pregnancy ever, no sickness or anything. Thank you son! A little swelling, but thats about it. Not being able to wear shoes is all worth it.


Oct 19,2011 hurry the heck up!

Its been a long time...

It has been awhile since ive blogged, but i i need to get back into it. So guess what? well its not really a guess everyone knows now but im pregnant! I found out feb 11 and man was it scary. I remember it like it was yesterday, feb 10 i was sitting at school eating wendys (which is now my favvv thing to have) and i just had this feeling i cant really explain, but i just knew. So i went to my car and got a pregnancy test that i had because i had gotten it for a friend, i then went to the bathroom, pee'd and it came positive. I sat there for a few minutes thinking this cant be right, Garrett wanted nothing to do with me and now im having his baby? what the hell was i gonna do? So i ran out crying, left school and on the way home stopped and bought about 3 more packages and took them all. Each one came out positive, every piece of me just didnt want to believe it. How could i, out of all people be having a baby? i was being so safe, at least i thought. Goes to show that just not having sex is the only way to not get pregnant. Anyways, i started texting Garrett, he wouldnt answer, i called and called and called, still nothing. Finally after hours of freaking out he texted me back, i told him the news, at first he didnt believe me, he thought i was lying to just get his attention so i decided to go to Planned Parenthood to prove it was true. The next day i went in, pee'd in a cup and they told me i was positive but it was a light showing so i was very early i just started balling my eyes out i had no clue what was gonna happen. Was Garrett gonna be there for me? What would my family say? How would i finish school? Can i afford this? After all that i called him and let him know the news, he first said some very mean things that i will never repeat, but after awhile it grew on him and he started to accept the fact he was gonna be a father. So now i sit here three weeks from my due date waiting to meet my bundle of joy little baby Conor Garrett Ojala... <3

My girl..

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babve, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

Act like a lady; think like a man.

"Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.

Well, I’m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love— that perfection—from a man is unrealistic. That’s right, I said it—it’s not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man’s
love isn’t like a woman’s love."

"If he hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and the how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be. "

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

Its been awhile but...

My life has been so up and down. I went on a date with some random guy i met online..we will see where that goes...



but as always Garrett continues to break my heart and drag me along. Some days im stronger than others, im just going through the motions. If its really meant to be it will happen...with the right person at the right time..right?

He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstarted to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and into me.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Don't underestimate the power of sex, even with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Especially with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Breaking up means not seeing them again, which also implies not seeing them naked again. It might be tempting to forget this pearl of wisdom, but just remember, it's still called breakup sex. No one has yet to rename it oh-my-god-the-sex-was-so-good-we-got-back-together-again-and-lived-happily-ever-after sex.